The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically.

This virus is called Weary Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues, or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT.

This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

Put on a dress and hook me up to the wine-drip, Sally! Mama’s got her CRAZY on!! Tonight is the auction. We’ve got 350 people coming and plan to raise $140,000.

I’ve got a temperature, my house looks like a homeless shelter, my husband isn’t talking to me, and my kids are watching “Cars”… but it’s all good, baby. It’s all good. You know what makes it that way?

It’s the gown and heels, my friend. The Gown. The Heels. The Makeup. The mysterious recent weight-loss. I’m high on flu and sympathy and dirty dishes fumes. And for some bizarre reason, life seems good. Strap me onto the fun wagon, I’m going OUT!

Post Script:
Great time had by all last night… We raised a record amount of money. My feet hurt from the gorgeous PINK high heels I stormed around in, but never was there a happier pinched feet gal in town. Also in the ensemble was 50’s dress with crinoline and appliqued pink roses…matching pink pearls and 50s style make-up (a la Ann-Margret). Sigh. I love Ann-Margret. Am now officially wracked by flu, but I don’t care. Memories of dancing, drinking, flirting, laughing carry me through….

Meanwhile, enjoy her:

This morning at 7:30am, my boss came and asked me to edit the auction catalog and make a variety of font, writing, and picture changes, so that it could be ready to go to the printer tomorrow morning.

In came my co-worker a few hours later who took one look at what I’d done and then burst into tears. She was crying her heart out there at her desk because she thought it was her project and here I’d taken it over. It didn’t take long for me to dissolve into tears too, which brought up once again the joys of NOT working in an all-woman environment any longer.

We’re all patched up now, she and I, and all is relatively well. I’m always surprised when something so everyday is cause for a crying jag. Crying and work simply do not go together. Frankly, I”m not a huge fan of crying at all. Sometimes, I wish I was someone who could bottle it up inside and be a cool cucumber. A Mommy with nice nails and a clean shirt. But alas, that ain’t me.