I always thought if I had to choose between Heaven and Hell I’d choose Hell. After all, it sounds like all the party animals will be there.

Besides which I’ve assumed that I’d never make it past the gatekeeper anyway.

But now I am thinking again…. Why suffer a life of eternal damnation when I can simply buy my way into Heaven?

You mean I get to enjoy my sin filled life on earth, and still bypass the “endless suffering” that damnation promises? Yes folks, you can now buy your way into Heaven! Woo Hoo!

And best of all, your ticket to Heaven comes with a money back guarantee.

You can choose from one of two packages: The “Essential Travel Kit” for $12.79, which includes “everything needed to transport one individual to Heaven,” and an “All Access Travel Kit” for $24.95 that comes with an additional VIP pass that “will grant you access to ‘VIP exclusive areas’ including the Land of Milk and Honey, where all the elite get together and kick it.”

This could really change things, and Heaven could actually be fun.

But only if you all agree to meet me there (when the time is right). Besides, the site offers a group discount.

Now….. if it turns out that the martinis in Heaven are not all that hot, or the wine choice sucks, there is always plan B.

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