After producing an eBook on 10 Reasons Not To Travel With Kids, I have come up with the 11th and MOST important reason – while parents might be used to their antics, kids can be mercilessly annoying to other travelers!

Case in point - while checking in for the last leg of my flight home this weekend, I was offered a window seat in an exit row. Yes please!

Normally, flying with my kids, I can’t sit in the exit row, so of course I took it, luxuriating in the idea of that extra legroom.

When I got on the plane, I settled in with my book looking forward to a relaxing flight. My time was all mine - for a bit longer anyway. Soon it would be back to the chaos of my little tribe, but until then I planned on enjoying every last minute.

Just as I was becoming engrossed in my book, all hell broke loose in the row behind me as a mom and her two young sons took residence. They made enough noise to drown out the engine - and then some.

I know firsthand that airplanes can be an exciting adventure for kids and that after a bit they tend to calm down. Years of flying have also taught me to come prepared with earplugs… an essential no traveler should be without.

But the earplugs didn’t prepare me for what came next. It felt as if I’d been kicked in the small of my back – which evidently I had. I turned around to see what the heck was going on, only to be starred down by an angry and hyper 7-year old boy who insisted in pummeling the back of my seat with his feet every 15 seconds.

Despite repeated requests and then outright threats, he kept at it.

Sympathy warred with sanctimony as I endured this onslaught. His mother was working overtime to keep them entertained and under control. She played games, told stories of where they were traveling to, and answered their questions. She was not oblivious and did try to mitigate their turbocharged energy by scolding and issuing her own threats of what would happen when they got home – but who was she kidding? There was just one of her and they had the upper hand.

I’ve been in that situation before, counting on the patience and understanding of others as I deal with a meltdown by one of my own children. It’s been a while since the shoe’s been on the other foot though and while I felt for them, I kept thinking about my precious alone time ticking away and wishing that kid would knock it off!

When the attendant came by with refreshments I was REALLY ready for a glass of red wine.

In the exit row you don’t always get a tray table to put your drink on so I was holding my (plastic) glass, about to take a sip (OK then…. a gulp) when the little monster kicked really hard, and the wine didn’t just slosh… the entire glass DROPPED into my lap.

I looked down and was horrified to see a deep red stain in my crotch and down my trouser legs. Then I felt my butt getting wetter and wetter. Standing up revealed a large, wet, burgundy patch on my seat.

The flight attendant came over, saw the mess, and explained that the flight was completely full - changing seats was out of the question. Instead, she went in search of a blanket for me to sit on.

A few minutes later she returned empty handed. Apparently each flight has only 4 blankets and all of them were in use.

After all this, the guy in the next seat (who had been silent up till then) turned and handed me a folded up newspaper saying, “How’s this for super absorbency?”

How’s this for frickin’ embarrassment?

And if that wasn’t enough, the flight attendant added in a rather loud voice, “There is no humidity in the cabin. You’ll dry out fast!!!!

Forget that - bring me another wine… I’d like to drown myself in it.

Tags: exit row seat, flying with kids, meltdown, reasons not to travel with kids, super absorbency, traveling with kids

This entry was posted on October 24, 2007 - 5:48 pm and is filed under Reasons Not to Travel With Kids, Kidsters. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.