January 23, 2007 - 4:51 pm
Like many assertive, outspoken types, I am often so busy acting tough, crying out against the injustices in the world, and yelling out encouragement to my peeps that I forget to take a breath and look around my own little inner life and notice the accumulated dust and gunk –the dust of exhaustion and stress and the gunk of guilt and self-loathing. Not the “Girl, you are so fat and ugly” self-loathing (SL), but the SL for the intellectual set (the rules, the pressure, the accomplishment, the “shoulds”), which is much sneakier and deadlier.
We often stand on high with our flags in the air and lipstick on, with a smile and a smart argument. Our people are loved and fed, our boss thinks we’re doing great, and our parents are proud. We have the things and the people and the success, but we’re tired tired tired. We worry and fret and find it hard to relax.
It is at just such moments that one’s babysitter usually quits and one is forced to realize (yet again) the thin wobbly line between strong and weak or dry-eyed and sobbing.
The losses of everyday life keep us humble, but they are also proof positive that one needs more than toughness, hard work, and snark to get by. If we lack real reserves and our strength is only skin deep, it’s all just macho posturing.
So I’m taking a little pledge — to care for myself with a little more gentleness.. to treat myself like one of my girlfriends who is having a hard day. Just a bath, just a walk, just a private moment.
Just a little more love and patience…. and a few more quiet minutes each day to gather the bustling thoughts into a more manageable jumble. It would be a great honor if you’d join me….
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As so often, I am right with you sister. Good for you. I need to do this more — and today especially — wow. Sending extra love right back atcha.
January 23rd, 2007 at January 23, 2007 - 6:58 pmMmmm…love to love you baby…
January 23rd, 2007 at January 23, 2007 - 9:28 pmhello - big g’n't with ice and lime on its way from the uk. i just went to babble (ashamed to say it was my first visit) - fascinating - especially your article about preconception preconceptions. failed utterly to register (what’s not alphanumeric about … oops i was about to give away my password!?).
January 24th, 2007 at January 24, 2007 - 2:26 ami’d love to talk - my place or yours?
x
This is one of my promises to myself for 2007. I am going to take a photography class that I have always wanted to take but never “found the time” and taking time to just take care of me. It means waking up earlier then the whole house..but so far…it’s been worth it!
I am right there with ya sistah…
January 24th, 2007 at January 24, 2007 - 10:24 amI pledge to wear more lipstick. And Old Spice.
(How’s that?)
January 24th, 2007 at January 24, 2007 - 11:35 amCM, I’m right there with you! I’m trying harder in 2007 — of course, the increased walking and little more exercising has led to increased moaning from muscle pain, but I hope I’ll get past that!
My promise for me, other than a little more cardio, is to focus on where I really want my writing to go this year and to not just take on work because it’s there. Looking for real direction and inspiration — that’s what I want this year. Oh, and the g&t, too!
January 24th, 2007 at January 24, 2007 - 12:59 pmI’m with you! My resolution this year is to take better care of myself and some extra pampering.
January 24th, 2007 at January 24, 2007 - 8:14 pmI’m in…
January 25th, 2007 at January 25, 2007 - 6:52 pm[…] Here at CrankMama we like to stick up for the mamas. We love to encourage shoe-worship, girlfriend gallivanting, kid-free quiet time and much soul-fulfilling romping. But what about the poor papas? […]
June 2nd, 2007 at June 2, 2007 - 12:05 pm